My writing tends to dramatize fear, with characters struggling to suppress it or else giving in to it. Sometimes I write about anxiety and panic attacks, a topic I know well because I suffered them twenty-five years ago when my fifteen-year-old son, Matthew, died from a rare bone cancer.
I describe these attacks in FIREFLIES. From the symptoms I experienced, I didn’t know which was going to kill me first, a heart attack or a stroke, but in the end, anxiety and panic attacks were the culprits.
They rank with depression as major problems for many people. When I speak to grief groups, I often discuss panic attacks because the majority of the audience suffers from them.
Perhaps you suffer from anxiety attacks and don’t know it. Or perhaps you know that you suffer from them but don’t understand the physical mechanism that causes them. In any case, you might find the following comments helpful.
The physical cause of anxiety disorder is an imbalance of oxygen and carbon dioxide in our blood. The ultimate cause is psychological, of course, but the result is the same: some sort of powerful stress affects our breathing. Unaware of what we’re doing, we hold our breath or else hyperventilate or perhaps take only quick small breaths in long sentences. This affects the ratio of oxygen to carbon dioxide circulating through our bodies. Our bodies sense that something is “off.” Our heart rate increases, causing us to want more oxygen, but our breathing is already not the way it should be, and pretty soon we’re breathing even faster until a reinforcing cycle of rapid heartbeat and rapid breathing is established.
At that point, our bodies are so confused that an adrenaline dump occurs, and we feel we’re in a fight-or-flight situation, even though there isn’t an emergency. As the cycle worsens, our hands and feet turn numb, and often the area around our mouths. Our eyes dilate, causing spatial disorientation, as if everything is far away. Muscles constrict in our chest, as if we’re having a heart attack, while simultaneously we feel dizzy, as if we’re having a stroke. In this ultimate stage, called a panic attack, the only way to stop the cycle occurs when we nearly collapse and our bodies force us to rest.
There’s a helpful book called THE ANXIETY DISEASE, which explains all this in detail. Concentrating on how we breathe can help reduce the onslaught of symptoms. But the true help comes when we realize what is causing the stress and we work to deal with it. Not so easy, but self-knowledge never is. Only when I accepted my son’s death instead of fighting its reality did my symptoms lessen. Again, not so easy.
The Master of the High Action Thriller – NY Times Best Selling Author
My novels dramatize fear.
September 3, 2012 by 5 Comments
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Speak Your Mind
FIREFLIES was one of the books I kept out of the thousands that I read after my son, Will, passed away. “We Walk As One: A Story for Dragons and Humans” is a YA fantasy short story I wrote as part of my Oral Traditions master’s work to honor my son.
http://www.dragonfightsforgood.blogspot.com/p/we-walk-as-one-story-for-dragons-and.html
Thanks for FIREFLIES. Thanks for helping me understand the insanity. Maria Sansalone
Maria, I’m very sorry to hear about your son’s death. As you know, profound grief doesn’t leave us. Instead it changes us. Three years ago, my 14-year-old granddaughter died from the same rare bone cancer that killed my son. My wife and I had to go through it again, but this time there was the added layer of the grief that my daughter and her husband were feeling. Thank you for the good words about FIREFLIES. It’s the book I receive the most comments about. All best wishes. My heart goes out to you.
Hi David, Thank you for explaining anxiety, esp the holding ones breathe……I was doing this and not realizing it. I am trying to take deeper breaths and get my depression under control. I do not believe in any of the drugs due to the side affects. Not being able to do the fun things I used to, esp sailing, I have been very depressed. I am really looking forward to THE NAKED EDGE as it is ordered and due in a few days. Hope you are enjoying flying and all your wonderful friends. Stay safe, Billie
Hi, Billie. Some people also swallow air without knowing it. The resulting pressure in the stomach can cause chest pains that some people fear is a heart attack, thus causing further anxiety and breathing problems.
Your insights into anxiety are always clear and straight to the meat of the matter. Inspiring and refreshing to one who sometimes feels caged by it. I suffer from asthma and half the time I have found myself confused as to weather I’m suffering from one or the other or one brought on by the other!
Since losing my Mother to cancer I have been on a rollercoaster of anxiety and depression and came to the conclusion I had suffered from it my whole life before she passed and had no idea. Her passing intensified it to the degree I had to seek help. Martial Arts has helped me get it under control but, of course, sometimes it overwhelms me before I can get to the heavy bag. BUT I never feel better than I do after training. Just got certified in Krav Maga BTW.